Thursday, January 3, 2008

I'm Melting!

I don't know if this is just post-Christmas stress, pre-wedding stuff or WHAT, but I very nearly had another melt down last night.

The house has been a disaster area. We have boxes and wrapping paper EVERYWHERE... and then gifts that have not been put away, just all piled up. I finally got around to putting all of that to bed this weekend, but as the wedding approaches and I realize people will be in and out of the house, I start to see things that need to be done. I would like to hang the new dining room light, and the master bathroom needs to be painted. The alcove leading into the master bedroom needs to be painted. We have new bathroom lights- but they are still in the boxes... and we do now have another new guest room, with not one thing hanging on the wall. Maybe to some people, this is no big deal, but I have always been a decorator and my houses have always looked pretty nice... but like Conrad says, there is ALWAYS something to do. ALWAYS. I have to hang some pictures I haven't yet... I have a clock I bought, still sitting on the table- not hung. My plants are all dying... disaster... and it's stressing me out.

Work has been mildly stressful. I'm dealing with some companies we've hired to help us out with some things- completely useless. I'm not sure what we're paying them for and to top it off, I would bet the farm that one of the guys hates women because he never calls me back and when he does, he immediately asks to speak to one of the men on the project.

With the holidays over, everyone is back on the roads and I am back to over an hour commute to and from work. I so much wanted to start working out and eating healthy at home again, but how can you when you've been away from home for 12 hours and you're exhausted?

Then let's not even talk about the wedding. We STILL don't have a minister and I am abotu to go crazy. It's about all I can think about... and we need to get the tuxes fitting done and the rings need to be sized... I have not yet gotten a return call from an artist I hired to do some stuff... I worry about money... I can not wait really for this part to be over. I neglected it at Christmas and so now I am paying for it... by being overloaded with things to do.

So I get home last night and the last thing I want to do is cook. I put some chicken out and it's turning weird colors, so we can't cook it anyway- but if we go out, then my diet is blown and do we REALLY need to spend the money. I almost just decided not to eat. I was pouting and huffing on the couch when Conrad made the executive decision and made me put on my shoes. He took me to a nice dinner at Chili's ... and I went to bed early.

I don't know how to come out of the funk really, but I'm trying.
Writing it down sometimes helps. ... and I'm also thinking next Christmas needs to be less about presents. I spend WAY too much money and drag them all over the place and ship them all over the place and stress myself out... Next year I need to come up with a new plan. I've been watching a lot of craft shows and figuring out a way to make more gifts. Maybe not so much for the kids, but for some of the grownups- seems to me like it would mean more.

I don't know- just something I'm fiddling with- because you should never come out of Christmas depressed and stressed out... and this is like the 12th one where I've felt that way.