LAZY

I have completely disregarded my workout this week. I'm lazy I guess, but I am also nervous about my biopsy today. I'm not going to be able to workout for a few days after this, so I guess I just decided to blow off the whole thing.

On top of just the sheer nerves and discomfort, I am going to have to ask for some private time with the doc to tell him I'm not super impressed with his staff. I am honestly really and truly nervous about the outcome of these results simply because I have no confidence in his staff. They have no bedside manner and take weeks to call back with any kind of results. They don't return phone calls and when they do, they have a receptionist call me. I love receptionists, don't get me wrong, but she can't answer my medical questions. She puts me on hold and gets the answer and comes back. That makes me really angry and let's not forget that Pass It On game we all used to play. You whisper "Johnny likes Ellen" in someone's ear and four people down the line it comes out that "John lives like an elephant"... getting PASSED ON information is not really trustworthy. The whole office makes me nervous. They also were supposed to send me out some information, and they did, TEN DAYS later with some very scary information highlighted. It ruined my weekend. I cried that entire Friday night, curled up in bed. Poor Conrad alternates between worried and trying to comfort me, who can not be comforted... SO, I'm going to have to somehow figure out how to communicate that today in a non-threatening way to my new doc, who I really do like. Chances are, when results come back- I am going to request my pathology results and then get a new doctor.

Wish me luck. I can get confrontational, if passionate enough and about my health, I AM... and of course, I'm also a mild hypocondriac.... and absolutely convinced I have cancer. HIs lovely nurse told me the one time she spoke with me I had pre-cancer, so it's not hard to make that jump. I was not aware that nurses had the ability to diagnose such things without a biopsy. Thanks for letting me vent. These sarcastic comments would not go a long way to my doc being understanding.

Anyway- not the best post today, I'm anxious and worried and I abhor pain.
I really wish I had stayed home today to just enjoy the off time and maybe go do something I like, like go to the bookstore.

Karyn