Disappointing

This weekend was sort of disappointing. I just didn't have a good one.

First of all, I needed to get to Austin to see my brother and drop off some boxes to him... and I had plans on calling my Aunt in Round Rock and my uncle in Austin and maybe having a family dinner... but we were so rushed. Mickey (my brother) had so many errands he needed, since he doesn't drive, and that was TOTALLY ok. I'm happy to provide him whatever I can and so we went to the bank, we went clothes shopping, ate lunch etc... but we were on a strict time schedule (bank closes at 1, etc...) and then he made plans to meet up with a friend downtown at 3PM. So he kept asking what time it was and we were running all over the place trying to make sure he had time to meet this guy... we came in at 11AM and had no plans to stay past 5 or so... and yet, we were on the road by 3:30 and I was a mass of tears...

I know Conrad was getting irritated and he NEVER gets irritated. I don't know enough about Austin anymore to know where to eat, etc... and I had like a great little burger or pizza place downtown- near University of Texas- in mind, to eat and hang out ... and we just drove and drove and we were in SUCH a hurry. I basically got flustered and pulled over the first place I saw- a Thai place and I HATE Thai food. HATE IT. I thought though I could grab some fried rice or something and be ok. No, it was not ok. It was beyond gross. I didn't even eat and Conrad was annoyed and my brother was rushed and frenzied and then, to top it all off... my brother tells me he is meeting this guy at Congress and 11th- the State Capitol at a BUS STOP... and he made me leave him there. So I rush through the day, can't call any of my other relatives nearby and I am forced to leave my brother at a bus stop to meet up with some guy I don't know. Well, you know me- I cried all the way back to Houston. I was so upset... I don't understand my bro's bohemian lifestyle. It seems to empty and so dark and sad... and it makes me so worried and scared and uncomfortable. To drive away and leave him on that bench, I can still hardly think about it. I had plans to also enjoy the drive back and stop at these cute little boutiques and places on the way home and I was so upset, I didn't.. I wanted to stop at some neat little steakhouse away from home and enjoy dinner, but Conrad was still full and I was so hungry ... it would have never been enjoyable... so I just drove on home.

I am just disappointed in this entire weekend and so so so sad about my brother and the state of this side of my family. I can pretty much put it out of mind a lot of times and sort of move on with things, but once in awhile it hits me what all is going on with him and other people in the family and it's almost like I can't stop crying...

I hope Monday is better. I know Saturday will be, because the all consuming passion of my life- junk-shopping, garage saling, bargain hunting will begin again for me. My first garage saling of the year!

K