Lazy Day

Hey There!

I took the WHOLE day off! HEAVEN. I needed this to clear my mind ... get the cobwebs out, sort of go into my shell and "heal" sounds too corny- but ... fix what's broken.

So last night as I was leaving work one of the girls gave us free passes to see a Sneak Preview of the new Angelina Jolie movie- Wanted ... and I don't normally care for her movies ... AND there's a lot of these free passes that float around- I think people I work subscribe to market research firms or something, but if you know Houston, you know it's really, really big ... and so usually they hand out the passes the night of the movie and it's too hard to try to get somewhere 30 miles away. With gas prices the way they are, it ends up not being free at all... but last night it was at the Studio Movie Grill about 15 minutes from our house. SCORE! and SMG has the BEST BBQ chicken pizza in the world ... so I was game. Conrad was too. It was surprisingly a good movie ... clearly fantasy movie because nothing in it could have happened ... but it was good. It was a nice night out and something different for a work night.

As for my little issue, the Angelina Jolie movie helped ... she played, as usual, a strong character- tough, take no guff and the movie about some poor sap that hated his job, his apartment, his girlfriend and his life ... and I decided you know what- I don't need to take any guff either. I think I'm a normal, reasonable person. It does not bother me when other people do well. I like to see others succeed. I like to be proud of my friends, family and coworkers. I want people to be happy ... I tend to hurt FOR people ... if you cry, I'm almost guaranteed to be sobbing with you in minutes. People maybe sometimes take advantage of that. Other people sometimes don't want to see others do well- at least, not unless they are doing well too ... and I should not let others make me angry and bitter. I need to maintain my compassion and yet, find a way to take no guff. Rest assured I will no longer ... and my volunteering and going out of my way days are over ... but that doesn't mean I can't be compassionate ... I just have to figure out a way to do them all at one time, maybe learn to say no and not be so dragged down by guilt ALL the time. I can't stop living ... but I can for sure be more intune to what I want and need ...

So ... no more volunteering if I don't want to- that's the first thing. I won't go OUT of my way to make someone else happy when I know they don't appreciate it. Second off, I won't be a party to lies and I can not help how other people feel about me. Life is hard enough. I'm not going to FORCE myself to bend to other people's will. How can I live like that?

and in the meantime ... my eyes and feelers are wide open. I'm not married to anything but Conrad and thank the Lord for him.

Kah