JAIL

I am so completely in love- with JAIL! It's this new show on cable ... I think it's actually called Inside American Jail. I am so in love with this show. I can't stand Cops- for a long time, it's given me a headache and sent me into depression. I never enjoy seeing a 40 year old DIRTY man, who looks 65- with a fading blonde, greasy mullet being dragged off his rotting porch screaming that his "old lady" just went "plum crazy" ... upon closer inspection, you can see he has no teeth and probably hasn't bathed in awhile. His "old lady" meanwhile is being detained by another officer, both are drunk, both have bruises where they beat the crap out of each other and both are screaming and sobbing... "I loooove you baby!" ... I'm sorry, but THAT is depressing ... and it happens in Dallas, Detroit, Brirmingham, Raleigh ... name it, the same couple lives, it appears in every single city in America.

Ah, but not on Inside American Jail! I LOVE THIS SHOW! They actually show activity IN the jail. Last night was a former solider, clearly with some post traumatic stress disorder (which is NOT funny), but he also didn't have his insulin and he was having a break down. He was completely wasted and was picking fights with this GIANT police officer. He kept taunting the officer and making faces and trying to trip him and stuff. I don't know ... it was pretty entertaining. They ended up putting him in "The Chair" which is this delightful contraption that has a mold in the back where they can set their cuffed arms ... then they sit in the chair and are strapped across the middle, twice... and then their legs are strapped in on the bottom. It has wheels and they can wheel them around the jail. It's AWESOME. When people are acting up, they tell them in a voice like you'd use with a three year old ... "Thomas? THOMAS! Do you want me to go get THE CHAIR?" ... then they get the chair and put in front of their cell and just show it to them, like a warning ... most of the time, the inmate will spit at them or something and that's it- they go into the chair! It's so so so awesome!!!!

They DID have the couple mentioned above from Cops. They had gotten into some domestic squabble and had been arrested. They were in side by side cells and he started singing hymns and screaming into her cell that it would be alright and he loved her and she would scream back ... less depressing when they get the people off the porch! He called her "Sunshine" ... "Sunshine?" (wailing) ... "Sunshine, baby I loooove you! Hold tight Sunshine... Jesus is with us! HE is able, baby!!!! " ..... AHHHHHHHHHHHHH HA HA HA HA

Today's Blog Spotlight: My Aunt Ann, my dad's sister
QUESTIONAIRE

1. Please state your FULL name and your relation to me or how I know you
Ann Marie (Abercrombie) Kyle I am your aunt... (Correct!)

2. How and/or when did we meet?
I knew you before you were born. I saw you the first time when you were three. (Really? I had no idea. I thought you had seen me when I was a baby- but you must have met me around the time of the Santa Clause story)

3. What were your first thought upon meeting me?
I though you were the most beautiful little girl I had ever seen. (Awww... thanks!)

4. Are you satisifed with our current relationship? No ( I know.)

5. If no, then what I can do or what can WE do to improve it? I wish we had more time to be involved in each others lives. (I wish that too and it's even worse because I'm only maybe two hours from you ... )

6. Are you happy? Most of the time

7. If no, why not?N/A

8. Do you drink? Nope (Hmmm.. well I have some suggestions, should you ever need them)

9. Do you feel you have a purpose? Yes - we all do or we would not be here

10. Where do you live? Round Rock, Texas (I remember Round Rock had the first HEB I had ever seen ... I am fascinated with different kinds of grocery stores)

11. Name some of your hobbies, or all of them, whatever...Reading, going to movies, doing different crafts, and hanging out with the family (Wow! Ours are the same. We look alike, we are alike!)

12. Do you think I'm funny? Duh! you know I do (I've never heard you say DUH, interesting .... )

13. Do you think YOU'RE funny? Of course....where do you think you got your humor from???? (well I used to think Dad, but now maybe I'm rethinking it)

14. Any kids? two- Russell and Misti

15. Do you like them? sometimes hee, hee

16. Do I like them?I hope so (I do. I don't know Mr Russell very well .... )

17. Care to talk about how you feel about the upcoming election? The candidates? The in-fighitng? The war?I wish we had more choices...I don't like war, but that is why the U.S. is a free country and I support our troups. (Good for you! ... and you know Obama clinched his nomination last night. I don't think it bodes well for McCain ... but I don't like McCain either. I'd be a far better President than either of them ... )

18. Do you think the Queen of England was rude for not responding to the invitation to our wedding?where was she born??? IN A BARN.. You always respond to invitations. (THANK YOU. I KNOW! All she cares about is hunting with her ugly dogs. Breaks my heart into pieces ... )

19. Are you surprised I was in my 30's when I finally got married?No, I always thought that you were very independent ( some things are worth waiting for) .... (Yes, and I know you think Conrad is cute!)

20. Do you think Conrad is a lucky man?Yes, and if he doesn't know that I will be glad to beat it into him. (I will extend the offer to him)

21. Chocolate or Vanilla?
chocolate (FINALLY! An Abercrombie with some taste! Yes ... that was a pun)

22. Morning person or not?
Morning person (Oh... sorry ... you lost me there!)

23. Are you addicted to anything- coffee, relationships, shopping, alcohol?
maybe good food (Me too!)

24. Do you trust me? with my life (Aww... very sweet!)

25. Do YOU know your heritage? If so, what is it ....Yep.. I come from good old southern stock...They loved God, family, and their country. (Perfect answer! They also know how to cook!)

Kah