Thursday, April 21, 2011

Decision Points

I have my pre-op meeting with my doctor today at 1:30. I am excited to get this behind me. I had a bit of a problem finding a surgeon - and I'll save that story for later on this week or next when I am home bored and blogging, blogging, blogging. Needless to say, Kelley and I got on it and we found one- and I liked his office staff on the phone. The feeling of NO NO NO and crying that I had when talking to the other office is not there, when I talk to the people in THIS office. So I went with my gut and changed it up. Talk about managing your healthcare!

Anyway yesterday I took myself down to Chili's for lunch. Their grilled chicken doesn't hurt me - tip: they still have the Guiltless Grill, just not on the menu. I got the GG platter- of grilled chicken with the black beans and rice - and I ordered tortillas on the side so I could pretend I was having fajitas. I managed to get two of them down (small) and a few bites of beans. I consoled myself with my continued reading of Decision Points by George W Bush. Good book.

It started off with just you know, this is who I am - this is my family, my education, here are the jobs I had and why I decided to run for governor, etc ... this is how it effected me when my dad was President. He does not write it in chronological order. He writes each chapter as a DECISION (Decision Points, get it) - and talks about it. INTERESTING!

So I read Chaper 4 yesterday at lunch - Day of Fire.

September 11th - it was REALLY interesting all the things going on behind the scenes that day. All the threats they had - all the scurrying around to bunkers. The President trying to get back to the White House and no one would let him. Flying around in Air Force one all day - trying to find his wife, his kids, his parents ... and worrying about the nation. The fact they had the Anthrax thing to worry about - the planes unauthorized flying around - so they spent an evening in an underground bunker thinking the White House was under attack ... the fact he watched all those people jumping to their deaths from the Trade Center because it was too hot to stay inside and just wait for death - and how he walked around the smoldering Pentagon and three days later, Ground Zero, itself - and how tired and dusty and sad the first responders were .... It really brought it all back for me. I think it may be the ONLY day of my life that I seem to remember in slow motion and that I seem to remember every minute of. I had dear friends in the air that day - and I remember everyone I called, talking to my parents, I remember everything. I remember watching the news and my company closing early that day. I remember being in a complete fog. It was like a movie.

He really wrote a great chapter. If you do nothing else, get to the bookstore and read Chapter 4. I was sitting at Chili's - trying to eat a few bites of lunch - tears pouring down my face. What a horrible day that was ... almost ten years ago.