Guilt

More of my Krazy-ness and neurotic behavior for your reading enjoyment!

Usually at the beginning of a season (Houston has two- a 10 month summer and a 2 month winter) I go through my closet and sort of clean it out, re-evaluate, etc ...

and then I am BURDENED with guilt. I am not a waster. I don't like waste - but when I am forced to do it, it depresses me.

Some things have to be thrown out - like, the black capris I wore once a week. They are a sort of weird faded black/gray now. I feel AWFUL about getting rid of them. They are still pants, they have no holes- they do their job, they just look awful ... I'm the kind of person and I HAVE done this, that goes to Wal-Mart for a $1.50 bottle of RIT dye and redyes them so I can get a few more months out of them. I guess that's ok- but sort of sad and REALLY over the top frugal. I have a few tank tops- they were white and they've turned a murky shade of yellow. No amount of bleach will help them. They HAVE to be tossed out, right?! UGH- I hate that!

Then there are the fashion "mistakes" ... the sweaters with the glitter that never makes it past the first washing - the cheap t shirts that stretched out after very little wear ... the pants that looked a lot different once you got them home ... the shoes that HURT and you never wear. THOSE are the things I feel the worst about. I look at them and think "wasted money" ...

But I have committed to myself to go through the closet and every drawer this week - and get rid of everything old, stained, torn, stupid looking, out of date, too big and too small ...

I intend to start over, sort of and really just try to get good quality classic stuff that will survive awhile. No more $3 tank tops from JC Penny's ... no more Wal-Mart shirts that "look cute" ... and don't ... no more shoes I can wear for "just a few hours" ... I will fill the closet with a lot of white, black, navy, gray, red- things that can be interchanged and switched out.

I'm going full out WHAT NOT TO WEAR .... if I can get over the guilt.

Kah

Money Saving Weekend

You want to know something about me? Since my couponing started, I am a FREAK. When our power was out for ten days, of course, we lost everything in the fridge. I have slowly been replacing all the condiments. It's amazing how much money it costs to replace mayo, mustard, ketchup, salad dressing, jelly, butter, hot sauce, picante sauce. The list goes on. So since the power came back on I've replaced things slowly and tried to use as many coupons as I can but on some things it's just not possible- you rarely see them for ketchup, mayo, jalepenos, etc...

HOWEVER French's mustard has them all the time. But at right after the lights came back on, they didn't have one- and they haven't since!!! I just went ahead and bought a small mustard, ketchup and mayo- you know, the basics- paid full price because we needed them. Anyway, this year I REALLY started digging on spicy brown mustard. I think it's DELICIOUS on sandwiches. But I have become such a weirdo I will NOT pay $1.69 for it- ha ha ha. I have been waiting since September 23rd for a coupon and one FINALLY came out on Friday. YAY! $.50 off any French's mustard - Kroger doubles! So I got the mustard (a big bottle too!) for $.69

I am a weirdo because I SURE DID almost wait 6 weeks so I could save a dollar. Pitiful- but well, frugal I guess. I did our shopping Friday night. Total came to $79 - after coupons and the Mega event discounts - I paid $37 --- HA! Beat THAT! That's 2 weeks of dinners and almost all of my lunches- I DO splurge on Berry Hill Tamale days.

Also- do you remember a few posts back- maybe a month ago when I said Conrad was going through his CD's and asked him if he had Nelson, maybe the WORST hair band from the 80's- Ricky Nelson's twin sons- who I love, love love? Remember I have the tape- but we have no tape player- I bought that tape the summer of 1989 and I about wore it out. So I asked Conrad that day if he had the CD and he looked at me with pity and disdain? I haven't heard Nelson in YEARS and I was really disappointed he didn't have it ... Yeah well I happened upon the CD this weekend whilst out garage saling. That's RIGHT! I finally got my Nelson CD. Nary a scratch on it and all for the bargain basement price of $.50 - it may be my best find EVER, on a personal level. I even called Conrad from the truck, Nelson blaring in the background to share the good news. He told me I got ripped off.

Whatever, he doesn't know everything - I have been in Nelson bliss since yesterday. I LOVE YOU MATTHEW AND GUNNER!!!!

Kah

Give me a Break

If you read my post from yesterday, you can see there's a comment there. I have no idea who this person is ... but I start off this blog AGAIN today asking people to be less judgemental. I see from your comment that you are not a "liberal" ... so I assume you didn't vote for Obama. My question to you is, did I EVER say I did? No. I said let's stick to the facts, stop attacking and if you need to look for something good in this, then please look at how wonderful this is for our country, our world and yes, some of our friends..., "This" being making history ... I was VERY educated when I voted and I don't recall EVER saying on here one way or another who I voted for. So very kindly read my blog and reserve judgement or get off. I'm not an idiot. I don't make judgements based on what my "buddies" would like.

I sort of feel like my comments the last few days on this blog have left me feeling like one big, bloody, gaping wound. So many people in my life say I am emotional and sort of over the top. Most of the time it's funny, but I have a hard time sometimes handling bad news ... and I even take situations and stretch them out into the WORST possible scenarios to prepare myself- I can get worked up about NOTHING in 5 seconds flat ... you know what I DO like about Obama? I like his even-keeledness.Conrad has it too and I think life would be so much better for me if I had some of that. My resolution in 2009 should be for me to stop feeling guilty about EVERYTHING, so not be SO high and to not get SO low ... to let comments rolls off my back and stop wearing my feelings on my sleeve.

I'm happy it's Friday. It sort of feels like it's been a whirlwind week. I'm still hacking and coughing, but not as badly as before. We have a nice relaxing weekend up ahead. Kroger has their mega deal back, but this time with the $5 automatic rebate. I've made a list of the things I want to stockpile and I'm happy to say I have a LOT of coupons to go along with it. Should be a nice haul!

I've been put on a special project at work. I have one week of working my desk and the special project- 50/50 and then they have asked me to devote the rest of the month to the project. I actually did VERY well this week and I'm hoping it doesn't take the rest of the month to finish up. I think there is a certain comfort in coming in, sitting at your desk, going through your ritual and doing your job My ritual has been sort of upended and while that's completely fine, it throws me off. I guess I really AM a creature of habit ...

Happy weekend to you all.

Kah

Offensive

Apparently, some people took great offense to my post yesterday- but again I state that this is my blog and I use it to vent and get things out ... sort of an online diary. There were comments made here, and emails sent to my work and my personal email ... emails that I sent out myself to get the conversation going ... and I spent a large part of the day talking with friends and family members about saying what I did ...

But what some people don't get is that the things they were saying, the things I saw on my television ... were offensive to ME. The stupid jokes going around about Obama - like the one about there's been a news release- the lines are too long- all Obama supporters vote onWednesday! .... or the one I got this morning in memo form about how all the people of the country should now report to the cotton fields- signed Obama the Almighty. Those jokes aren't funny TO ME. I can't tell you why. I just know every time I get one in my inbox or one is relayed to me I think it's in poor taste and it's offensive ...

Conrad has caught whatever horrible disease I had last week - and I went out last night to get us dinner. I had stuff at home, but we was sick and had a hankering for something else- so I went out. While I was gone, he logged on to the blog. When I got back he said, "Uh- I did some reading while you were gone". Now I know him and if it's not a Maxim, a NRA publication or a Cigar magazine, he doesn't READ anything ... so I said, "Oh the blog" ... and since Conrad is always a good barometer I asked him what he thought. Was I too harsh? Was I offensive? Etc Etc

......... and he said no. He said the supporters at the John McCain rally who booed and caused a rucus WERE disgusting ... but he also pointed out if Obama had been making a concession speech, there may have been a few at Grant Park who were behaving badly. He said all kinds of people do it and he's right. I'm really only commenting on the people I saw do it ... the people I saw on TV acting a fool ... the people I heard making comments that offended me. I am only commenting on ME and what I saw going on - on Palin's rallies and the things she should have said to stop some of the hecklers who are clearly idiots.

I have a few very very dear black friends who I adore. I saw yesterday that they were SO happy .... it was a victory for them. I'm not saying that's ALL this election was about- but I am saying it's a large part of it. That maybe Obama didn't set out to make history and SHAME on us for taking so long to elect an African American ... but he did make history regardless and it meant something to my friends and to me.

I think the people who stand up and shout that it's payback and that they have EARNED this somehow, etc etc are idiots too ... we have an idiot here in Houston called Quannell X and every time a black man is arrested he's out in the streets making a fuss. One guy had ADMITTED to killing his girlfriend, chopping her to pieces, COOKING her on his BBQ grill and dumping the ashes in the apartment dumpster. Quannell was standing NEXT to the dumpster on TV screaming about African American rights. THAT MAN is an idiot - but he doesn't represent ALL black people ... and I don't care what the election means to him. I care about what it means to my buddies and how they feel so empowered and I care that I got to see it and that now the world sees us as progressive. That, in itself, will help the economy. Don't look at Quannell and see all my friends, just as I hope you don't look at Kid Rock and think he represents all white people. Pa-lease ...

I also got an email yesterday warning me (after my blog was read, this wasn't random) that Michelle Obama is a touch racist herself. To be on the look out for her ... to educate myself ... I don't know. I asked Conrad about it- he said that he knows what she MEANS- that's she's proud to be black and proud of herself for her accomplishments- but he thinks she doesn't voice it very well, that it comes out offensive. So since I am fair and I want to know, I intend to research this ... I will be reading her interviews and watching as many as I can- so I can make up my mind for myself ... I think if it's true, it would be a terrible thing .. but I appreciate the heads up.

Peace,

Kah

President Barack Obama

I had a whole long list of things to address today in light of the outcome of our Presidential election... but I won't bore you with them. I think everyone probably cares more about their own personal opinions than those of others. That has been my experience, in this world, anyway.

But I will say this ... now that the election is OVER, we need to stand behind and support our President. We need to offer all we can do to help unite the country and not go on and on and on about what we SHOULD have done, COULD have done- if you are a John McCain supporter.

It is no surprise to any of you that I am a southern Republican, with a liberal streak. I am going to talk about the Republican party and my reaction to them through this election and most especially, last night.

Good or bad, right or wrong, it has been my EXPERIENCE that things and people are not always what they seem. My EXPERIENCE with very conservative, Christians - is not a good one. I have known many a Christian, especially men - who have been well revered, well thought of in the church who was actually a self righteous, verbal abuser behind closed doors. It is MY experience that SOME of these people can be the most judgemental and biased on the planet... it is for that reason, I believe, that this day in age, organized religion is so frowned upon. I would like nothing better than to find a church home with my husband to support and be supported by ... but it's my experience that I'm always very disappointed. I'm going to keep looking and God willing, we'll find one- but I usually go in now with all my senses on full alert.

Don't get me wrong- I do not believe in gay marriage. I think abortion is wrong and Partial birth abortion is SICK SICK SICK ... sticking a pole in a baby's head and grinding out it's brains is something a monster must have thought of ... those are things I UNDERSTAND we want to keep at bay. I understand wanting to keep our arms and we want to be able to keep our hard earned money ... THOSE are the things the Republican party should stand for. THOSE are the issues they should have fought for ... but it turned so ugly ... and so wrong ... filled with hate and crazy outrageous statements ... I can't believe I was hearing Christians speak this way .. Jesus was FIRM about what HE knew was right. He very angrily turned over the tax collectors tables in the church. He had a temper- to be sure ... our God can be a vengeful God - but I don't recall any Biblical story telling us that Jesus or God was unfair or made up things about other people ... I don't recall Them trying to sway people with meanness and untruths ... I don't think that's how we're supposed to be or act. WHAT IS GOING ON WITH MY PEOPLE?

Now, what I say now my upset some of my friends and family members, but it's my blog and my opinion - if you are trying to show the world (and I use YOU to mean Republicans, evangelican Christians, etc ...) that you are understanding, compassionate, moral and want what's right for this country - you are doing a poor job of showing it. I have never figured out a way to sway people to my side of an issue with venom, snarkiness, self righteousness or anger ... Let me tell you some of the petty, sad, mean and downright WRONG things I have witnessed:

Barack Obama is a MUSLIM- um, no. He's not. He's christian

Barack Obama is a racist, white hater - um, No ... not true. He DID go to Jeremiah Wright's church for 20 years and it's true that some of it COULD have rubbed off on him. But I never ACTUALLY HEARD anything racist come from his mouth ever.

Barack "Hussien" Obama- ok, are you kidding me? What if some powerful leader rises to power somewhere in Europe, and is filled with hate and kills her own people. What if her name is Elizabeth ... MY name is Elizabeth. So I must be evil too, right? Wrong. I am CONVINCED that Mr Obama's parents did not know they were naming their child such a controversial name.

Barack "Osama" - my personal favorite. Again, CUT IT OUT. He is not a terrorist ...

and then finally, when McCain gave his very eloquent, heartfelt, gracious speech last night, MY people- MY Republicans were there shouting, booing and being hateful in general. I am SO ASHAMED ... and when Obama gave HIS speech - his supporters cheered McCain and were respectful and quiet whent he concession speech came.

ROBOCALLS to CUBAN AMERICANS, in Spanish, stating that Castro is an Obama supporter at the LAST MINUTE in sections of Miami. I mean are you KIDDING me. Republican party? There is no way we could have won with behavior like this.

I do not want to be associated with such beligerance, hate and childishness- especially when the demographics of the Republican party are white, southern, evangelicals. We are supposed to be a compassinate people. We are supposed to stand for what is moral and right. We are supposed walk like Jesus and show our light and we didn't ... we don't ...

I don't know what will happen. I just know that the decision has been made and all the rest of this has to stop. Republicans- THIS behavior is why you lost the White House. THIS IS WHY. Maybe in four years, we will have figured it out.

As for me, I am registering Independent from here on out, because I don't want to be lumped in the party system any longer.

... and finally regardless of who you voted for or how you feel about the outcome- we were lucky enough to witness history last night. We were lucky enough to be here when we FINALLY broke through the racial barriers. Last night, people were able to turn to their black children and say with CONVICTION that ANYTHING is possible and be CORRECT. I for one, am VERY proud of that fact and VERY proud I was here to see it happen.

You absolutely MUST find good in it. You MUST- we are called too ... and there it is.

Kah

The BIG Day

Today is it!

Get out and VOTE! I did about a week ago ... when I felt like I was getting sick and figured I better get out while I can. Good thing I did! I really do feel that EVERY vote counts this year!!!!

Anyway today is the big day and I am VERY excited ... I do feel just AWFUL for Obama losing his grandmother the day before ... it's so hard to lose someone so close to you- but on top of that, she was more like a parent to him ... I was pleased to see the McCain's offer their condolences ... I thought things would turn nasty these past few days but they didn't really ...

I will be GLUED to the TV tonight, that's for sure!!! I sort of want to call Conrad and tell him to meet me out for dinner so I don't have to worry about it. Otherwise, it's a toasted pimento cheese sandwich and soup night!!! I didn't really take anything out of the freezer to be cooked.

I haven't decided what to do about that yet ... but as the day wears on I'm sure I'll figure it out. Anyway- vote for DECISION 2008!!!!

May the best man win. :)

Kah

Sunday Bloody Sunday

Well ... no words. There are no words for the massacre of the Dallas Cowboys that I witnessed yesterday. All I can say is that they deserved it. I was so upset, I went into the kitchen and started making comfort food ... I sort of made something up, but it turned out alright.

Karyn's Bloody Sunday Hash

1 lb hamburger browned with 1/2 chopped onion and 1/2 chopped bell pepper
Drain grease
Add two cups of water, 1 beef bullion cube, 1 cup of rice and 1 can of DICED tomatoes (I used fire roasted)
Chop up or slice VERY thin, 2 potatoes.
Add it all together. Turn down to medium, cover and cook about 15 minutes.

CAREFUL- some stuff WILL stick to the bottom. You have to watch it and stir it.

I serve it with small topping of mozerella cheese. I had two helpings, it was GOOD and then I ate a cold piece of pizza from Saturday night. I should have had heartburn all night, but alas, it's more like HEARTBREAK.

We can kiss this Super Bowl BYE BYE

Kah