Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Soooory for my absence

Hey y'all  ...sorry for my unscheduled absence.

Things have been WILD and CRAZY and after every single day of just living, I found it hard to just open the computer and randomly blab about a cute Christmas wrapping paper or baking bread. I have been going through some seriously life altering stuff ... well not ME, but my family  ... and it has just been emotionally draining. When I had my condo in Dallas, my neighbor Toni used to check in on me - and she knew if after work, the house was dark, I had just come in and gone straight to bed. Many a day I got a phone call to GET UP ... and well, that is really how I deal with things. There is nothing more comforting to me than a mattress, a pillow and a dark room. Now that I'm married up - I can't do that so easily.

My sister has left her husband and since a divorce is imminent (per that sisters phone call yesterday) I guess I can talk about it now. I know she feels free and at peace ... but being at the recieving end of such news, I can only tell her and you that when you lose a family member, the world sort of tilts off its axis. I didn't spend every weekend with BIL or anything, but I did like him very much and I thought we all got along great. I feel a great sadness for my sister and family and it feels like nothing will ever be the same again. I never, ever wanted this for her. I wanted it to last forever.

My brother - I can't talk about too much since this is still a pending issue. But let's just say I am so worried about him I don't sleep. He is lost- either by laziness or some sort of chemical imbalance and I don't know  which. He is currently with my FL parents ... and soon enough I shall see him for myself. The situation is frustrating and scary. I like to solve things with tough words and the the threat of deadly force - but I don't know if even that will budge him this time. Both of my brothers are bigger than me and stronger than me now, but even if I am standing there, head tilted back to look at them, I can still holler and yell and threaten serious butt kicking and they seem to be pretty intimidated by it. I'm kicking around a quick trip to FL to straighten things out - I don't think there has been NEAR enough yelling.

Blanca had a bump on her hind leg for a few months. I took her in and had it removed and it came back as cancer. They said all they needed to do was remove it, no further treatment necessary. This does NOT make sense to me ... and so since she is my precious baby, I am taking her to another vet for a second opinion. Now I find myself frantic with worry and doing a nightly rub down/lump check. That's no way to live for either of us. I'll feel better once the 10/30 appointment has come and gone. As for her though, she's fine- she's never acted different and her little surgery area has healed beautifully. She was the model patient. Such a brave girl. Such a scared mommy.

Anyway, that's just a taste of what's going on. I'm the co-chair of our United Way committee this year and it's been hard. Kelley is the chair and has taken 90% of the brunt of things ... but it's been hard to watch. It's hard to watch your ideas shot down ... hard to fight for your coworkers, hard to voice to HR what all the other employees want, hard to prove what was done in years past. Kelley has been running around for two weeks buying prizes and raffle stuff ... making sure we have all the posters and pledge cards, etc - our kick off is tomorrow and this will almost be over. It is always an honor to serve, but this really was an emotional journey and I think K will agree with me.

I'll try to do better and update more soon and get back to my happy, sarcastic, fun loving self - both here, at work and at home. Sometimes you just go through stuff.



Jess said...

Wow, sorry things have been so crazy for you lately! As someone whose sister also recently went through a divorce, I can say that I had all those same feelings but it does get easier, truly. It will all work out in the end. Good luck making it through this part, though.

Keep us posted on what the second vet says! I'm glad you're getting another opinion. Fingers crossed that everything is OK!

cottagehunt said...

Hope your spirit is lifted soon... we can meet up forcoffee if you like...