Sunday, November 22, 2009


This woman:
Martha Stewart

There is a reason she went to prison and I am thinking it wasn't just insider trading. It was because we, as women, have decided she belongs there. She is RIDICULOUS.

Conrad and I went to look at KB Homes one afternoon and signed the little card and I guess with that, they sent me a free subscription to Living magazine - it should be called You Could Never Be As Good as Me magazine.

I was sitting here last week flipping through the Christmas issue and God bless Conrad, I had a mini meltdown. I just don't think it is possible to be as perfect as this woman wants us to think she is. There's no way I can look at a box, a fabric scrap and a broken down ribbon and see instead a gloriously wrapped present - AND who has time for that ???

and how she is always jumping all over people like Rachel Ray by saying "well, she's a good cook, but she can't bake and does she have her own garden?" .... Uh, you know MARTHA/DEVIL most of us work 8 hour days, commute 2 hours - I barely have the energy or WILL to even throw some hamburger helper on the stove when I get home, much less tend a garden with white asparagus, heirloom tomatoes and arugula ...

But never-the-less, I was sitting here looking at all her Christmas tress she puts up every year - in EVERY room- and looking at the cookie recipes YOU MUST bake and I just sort of had a breakdown - a "I'm not good enough" moment. If I baked those cookies for Conrad and I would love to - who is going to eat them? 48 cookies, really ???

To his credit, Conrad listened to my insane rant very calmly. He also reminded me that the devil has minions - Martha has a full staff that tends her crappy little garden, that puts up those ridiculous trees and hunt down, kills and cooks her fresh free range chickens (raised on her farm) and bakes her cookies. I doubt the woman even dresses herself.

Regardless, I think she should be stopped. Prison is the only way. I'm about to start a petition.

I was also reminded by a male coworker that her husband left her and her kid hates her ... so ... I don't know ... perhaps it all came at a price. Just sometimes I wish I could do it all, have it all.

Can I hear a what, what ????



Jess said...

Totally with you. I saw a blog the other day raving about the magazine so I was looking at it in the airport newsstand yesterday and I could just feel the vibes of inadequacy radiating off the cover. Plus it looks so BORING. Ugh who wants to read a whole magazine about how to achieve the fantasy of being a 1950s housewife?