Saturday, January 8, 2011

January Blues

I am NOT a good person to hang out with after the holidays. For some reason, I get the holiday blues SUPER bad. I don’t even know why – so far, we have goals this year that will REALLY put us in a different position going forward. It should be a happy time.

I think the problem is things have been REALLY rough for my family since the end of August. Not Conrad and I as a family – I mean … my family before I got married. It has been tough. August and September were REALLY blue and depressing. I talked to my Dad in November to see if I was crazy and he said yes, it had been a rough two months. October and November seemed to be better and I really do think my favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. It’s like these two great days off – and you don’t HAVE to be anywhere or DO anything. You have nothing to buy – no houses really to run back and forth between. It’s football and HOPEFULLY cool weather (not this year) and eating and the Macy’s parade. I LOVE Thanksgiving … so November was great. December though hit another rough patch – and it was a sadder Christmas than usual.

Now January is upon us – and I am hoping in the next few weeks I can get back to happy. Conrad and I have gone through the house and de-cluttered and given away a ton. He has cleaned out a few closets, I went through my clothes – and my kitchen stuff. I put away all of Christmas and we’ve cleaned quite a bit at home. I still need to scrub the bathroom down and do some small things, but I didn’t make it a goal to do EVERYTHING before we returned back to work. What a nightmare those three days off would have been and I’d have come back to work with a backache … and a bad attitude. As it was, I just came back with a bad attitude. LOL ……. I’ve basically just told myself, hey, use January, the entire month, as a getting back to basics, cleaning, de-cluttering month and that’s what I intend to do.

I don’t know if we will MOVE during 2011, but I think we’ll begin to build for sure. So part of this is looking at things and saying “wow, do I REALLY want to move 20,000 baseball cards to the new house?” and then realizing no, let’s go through them, see what’s good and toss the rest. Same thing with clothes, socks, shoes … it’s crazy the things you can accumulate in a lifetime! I could NOT believe how many socks I had and how many were actually shoved into one drawer. I kept the best ones, the ones with no holes, the one’s that were cool or also really fuzzy. In the winter, I LOVE the fuzzy happy socks.

Anyway, this is where I am. I am hoping for happy, but clinging somewhat to the events of the past months. It’s amazing to me that people can’t see their behavior effects other people so much. I don’t know how I could behave badly and think the rest of my family wouldn’t be upset, disturbed, sad, mad, etc … about it. I don’t know if I care too much what other people think … or if the people in question are just incredibly self absorbed and selfish. I guess one day I’ll figure that out. In the meantime they need to STOP having so much power over me. Lord grant me the serenity to just ROLL my eyes at them and march forward!

Also the year just FLEW and I am hoping this one goes really slooooooooooooow.