Last Friday the HOA opened up the offices so the residents could secure their pool passes for the summer. Conrad and I parked outside the office and watched all manner of trashy people march in and out. I can't figure out where they live- I think in the back of the subdivision cause TRUST ME, if I saw these peeps on a daily basis I would be OUT. Most of them even wore their BATHING SUITS down to get their pool passes. What did it for me was seeing a mom and her 14 year old HEAVILY TATTOOED daughter walk by. The daughter was BARELY in a suit, with about a foot and a half wings tattooed on her back. Conrad was inside and heard the mom arguing. Apparently they are not current on their HOA dues and could not get a pass. The mom reasoned, "Hey - I'm not going to be coming down here to the pool, SHE IS" .... and that right there cemented my decision that I would not be spending any time with these unsavories this summer. Melanoma will have to wait!
The next morning I came up with one of my more brilliant ideas. No reason the Abercrombie- Hopkins house can't be something of a resort in itself, yeah? So I took myself off to Target with my $25 gift card that I earned for Perfect Attendance at work in 2009 - that's RIGHT - can I get a "what what" ? ... and I purchased us the finest 69 inch, blow up pool $25 can buy. That's right baby - Conrad hooked it up to my car cigarette lighter and we blew this bad boy of paradise UP. Right there in the driveway ...
That's RIGHT! We're kicking it WESTSIDE - check this out HOMIES of the neighborhood- I'll not be wallowing in YOUR juices!
30 minutes later, we have our own MTV Spring Break! Check out the bountiful colors. It's deep enough to drown a cat!
After proudly displaying my wares to the neighbors- I dragged it into the backyard cause while I don't mind showing off, I'm not trying to get shot up on the block right in my own front yard. So I drug it out back and pulled out the hose - I know. THAT'S CLASSY ... It took about 10 minutes to fill up -long enough to run in and get my cammo hat and my suit on. I pulled out my floaty from a few years back - and threw that in there - and it was like being back in the Dominican, minus the fried dog and the people chasing you down on the beach.
Another weekend has come - and I am already excited about being back out there tomorrow and Sunday.
All I need is my Mountain Dew and my library books - I know, Mom and Dad, y'all are so proud. I'm thinking about taking real good care of this - and bringing it to the house we build next year. I'm pretty sure our new neighbors are going to be pretty jealous of our style.